Sons' obligation – expecting daughters

By: Iftikhar Islam

Do you expect the same from daughters what you expect from sons?

In this era of development and advancement where men and women are considered as “equals”, whereas we fail to realize the real potential of girls and boys. When we prepare and get ready to start a married life and have children, we should know about the potentials of having a son and a daughter. Due to physiological, biological, and psychological nature, the attitude of a son differs from that of a daughter. Boys and girls are very different from each other and they need different approach in their upbringing.

It is foolish to expect from the daughters what you ought to expect from sons (and vice versa). We find many parents, when they provide means of sustenance for a daughter the same as a son; they expect and demand the works which are to be performed by a son. Parents should be cautious enough when it comes to the upbringing of a daughter and expect the things which are to be expected from a female and according to her ability.

 

Even if a daughter is provided with similar means of sustenance to that of a son, we fail to realize the work done by the same daughter at home - she prepares food whenever necessary, she helps in cleaning, she helps her mother; furthermore she helps her siblings and helps them in their studies which goes unnoticed, and in return she gets the scolding of “not doing anything”. On the contrary the son enjoys free roaming facility till late night and gets proper food at time, yet the parents keep the expectations on daughter even of those obligations which are to be performed by sons.

Some of the parents even lay down financial burden on daughters and compels her to work (even by breaking the hijab policies) and continuously taunt her of providing her higher education and other facilities. However hard the father might be working, he cannot even give a hint to a daughter to provide financial assistance when there are sons to help in his cause.

There are parents who force their daughters to work and continuously remind them of the favours they have done to her by “working hard”. It is very disgusting upon the parenthood even to hint at a daughter for financial help. It is very easy to lie down and become a parent, but it is very difficult to stand up and fulfill the responsibilities of father and mother respectively.

It is high time to recognize the potentials of a daughter and their education who, in turn, train and build an ethical society. Remember it is your daughter who will be nurturing the future generation and she requires adequate training and support especially from parents; after all parents arms are the one which gives comfort to a daughter.

However might be her parents she always remembers their favour. She forgets all the hurts and turbulences she faced during her upbringing throughout her life and remembers them in her husband’s home too.

We should realize that even a daughter has her own career far better than sons as she gets education to up bring her children (train next generation) and sons cater on livelihood which Allah promises to give sustenance from.

O’ parents, fear Allah with regards to your daughters. Don’t destroy their career in order to benefit yourself. Parents are known for sacrifices, they will be happy when their children are happy and content in life. It is your responsibility to give her Islamic teachings and convey the importance of hijab and modesty.

Take care of her as Allah guaranteed you a place in Paradise because of her. The Prophet (peace be upon him) confirmed of being a neighbor in Paradise for upbringing a daughter in the most valuable manner. Let her fly and acquire the world within her so that she can share it with her children and nurture them to become the likes of Imam Shafai, Malik bin Dinar, Umar ibn Abdul Aziz, Salaahuddin Ayyubi and so on and so forth.

It is an earnest request to parents to be a support, a source of peace, a standing pillar, a comfortable shoulder and a focal point of inspiration for your daughters. She is a means of admitting you to Jannah, take care of her as Allah has given you an amaanah in the form of your daughter. Give her the best of education, and make her the epitome of influential Islamic woman.