Father - the neglected parent!

By: Iftikhar Islam 

He is the one who supported your Mother, took care of her during her pregnancies, and after you were born, he was the one who united hands with your mother for your upbringing. He is alone whom your mother trusted and your mother handed you to. He is the one who used to bunk his offices, business and what not... just to be with you, to take care of you, to nourish you. He is the one who had seen to it that you looked good; you had proper food in stock, and brought stacks of dresses for you to wear, heaps of toys for you to play, loads and loads of chocolates for you to be happy.

You might not bear in mind but he is the same person who took you in his arms before your mother; he is the same who had fed you when your mother was at rest, sacrificed his sleep along with your mother, and he was the happiest person when you took the first step of your life! 

He is the same person who gave the good news of your arrival in his office, work place, neighbourhood, relatives and to the whole world… He is the same person who distributed sweets in your name and felt proud to become a father… Yes he is your father and I know you have rightly guessed before because all these unique qualities can only be possessed by him alone. 

The list does not end here, it continues…

He is the same person who became a horse for you, played with you and didn’t even bother to take care of his age. He went back to his childhood only to accompany you and make sure you were content and exultant in his presence.

Love your father more than yourself, for he is the reason you have stepped on this earth. You cannot compensate his love that he has given you when you were born and till today. He has protected you when you didn’t have enough strength to protect yourself. He has supported you when you didn’t have enough strength to support yourself. He has taught you the same thing again and again with joy and happiness and made sure that you understood his examples and stories. He didn’t get bored of your stupid questions.

We remember, in our school days, if anyone does anything to us, we used to say “I’ll call my father tomorrow”. The word father was enough to tear down the strength of those who teased you in your schools, colleges and elsewhere. 

“If Mother is a Paradise then father is the door of it.” Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, “The father is the door to paradise” without (serving) him you cannot achieve your paradise. If your father is alive and you are not able to secure your place in paradise then you are the most stupid person walking on the face of the earth.

“Infants raised in father-absent homes did less reaching, grasping and following of objects, and playing with new toys and objects in their environment. Researchers have determined that active fathers have children who score higher on tests of verbal skills, in problem-solving tasks, and in social situations.” writes Dr. Linda D. Ladd, Ph.D., Family Development Specialist.

She further added, “In over 20 years of studying fathers, Dr. Ross Parke states that men have a tendency to allow their infants more freedom to explore, which appears to support the development of independence in their children. Fathers who actively play with their children appear to reinforce the notion of emotional self-control in their children and help their children learn to recognize the emotional cues of others.”

Getting educated in good institutes, working in good companies, and getting high salaries is not the key to disrespect your fathers. It is he – the backbone – who has made you capable enough to achieve all these things (of course by Allah’s will)! Don’t even dare to betray him.

Respect your fathers; don’t sit in front of him till he sits, try to do his work before he gives you the order. It is a privilege to my sisters – grab the opportunity – to give him food which he likes, make proper breakfast, lunch and dinner – regardless of you having your studies. Ask him for a cup of tea in the morning and when he comes from office, smile at him - irrespective of how grief-stricken you are.

Remember… Parents don’t tell their children what all sacrifices they have done to raise you up, to give you the best education possible, to give you the best upbringing, to provide you the best food, to buy the best dresses and to teach you the best morals! When you were hospitalised, it was your father who ran from one medical store to another in search of a particular medicine. He did not even bother to check how expensive the medicine was and if he could afford it at all! He just knew that you needed the medicine and he had to bring it. 

Islam has given utmost status to a father and commanded children to be cautious of misbehaviour towards him. It is enough for a person to become disobedient when he corrects his dress in such a way that the dust from his clothes sits on the head of his father.

In Islam everyday is father’s day, rejoice it each day by respecting your father, remembering him in all your supplications and being dutiful towards him.