Father’s son… An abuse to a daughter

By: Iftikhar Islam

In this age of 21st century, on the face of it, parents are allowing the birth of a girl child but when she slowly matures, the same parents consider her to be a burden. Taunting her in one or the other way hoping that she would take care of each and every house hold activity. Birth of a girl child becomes equationally proportional to taking care of the household (no matter what are her feelings and educational aims).

She is brought up with huge expectations of house hold works and of taking care of her siblings… oops brothers. When she failed to deliver results as expected then the rain of taunting occurs on her. But do we at any point of time realize or check if she gets the same amount of love as brothers? Even if she gets the same love, what are the expectations of parents from her?

Girl-child is a blessing from Allah and Ibn Abbas narrated from the Prophet (peace be upon him) saying, “There is no Muslim, whose two daughters reach the age (of adulthood), and he is good to them as a companion, and they do not cause him to enter Paradise." [Saheeh Bukhari]

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Whoever has three daughters, and shelters them, bearing their joys and sorrows with patience, Allah (Subhanahuwata’ala) will admit him to Paradise by virtue of his compassion towards them.” A man asked, “What if he has only two, O Messenger of Allah?” He said, “Even if they are only two.” Another man asked, “What if he has only one, O Messenger of Allah?” He said, “Even if he has only one.”

What more expectations do you have from your daughter? Is Jannah not sufficient for you? Be like a companion to your daughter and take care of her and marry her to the right person and you will secure a place in Jannah… what a great reward! Subhan’Allah!

Readers might be wondering what topic I have come up with in this century where girls are in every field with flying colours. Yes my dear readers, they are soaring high with vibrant colours in every field but what about those unfortunate ones who are flying yet suffering and thinking “Why am I not a boy?”, “I want to become my father’s son”, "Hopefully, I want to be a mom's boy", because of the behaviour of their parents towards them. Parents are allowing the child to take birth but killing her a million times before she actually dies. I say the parents who kill the child in  the womb are far greater than those who kill her daily.

Let me remind you, Allah has created her weak and asked her mahram to take care of her. The first mahram a girl gets is her father and she feels peace and security on his shoulders. O’ Fathers… protect your daughters as they will take you to Jannah. Shield them as they trust your security. Shelter them as it is your duty. Guard them as a part of fatherhood.

Remember your daughters and sons are different to certain extent and in their fields too. But when you provide same energy towards all the children, daughters will excel in their own as sons does. This should not make you to expect from a daughter what you are expecting from a son and you should not expect something from a son which you expect from a daughter as Allah has made both the gender unique!

Yet, we find certain parents even “behaving well” with girl child have inclination towards boys as if they are taking care of their children to secure their future – their old age. Remember, children are “Amanah” from Allah and you are asked about them. So take care of them as Allah’s property not yours and bring them up with kindness, for it is Allah alone who secures the future which you are fearing about.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Whoever had a daughter born to him, and he did not bury her alive or humiliate her, and he did not prefer his son over her, Allah will admit him to Paradise because of her.” [Abu Dawood]

We know the Ahaadeeth, read in the Quran and heard a bunch of Khutba but all these are not enough for us to follow. Yet we do the same mistakes back home (knowingly or unknowingly).

Have you ever checked the pocket money you give her? Have you ever calculated the daily expenditure she has? Do you provide her daily expenses? Or are you just in an illusion that you are providing her everything but in reality you don’t. If you fail in this obligation, you are not fit to be called as Father and Mother too, as it is responsibility of mothers also to up bring the child.

Even mothers share the same responsibility of taking care of daughters and make them as companions. It is the mothers who make the father feel what a daughter is and what she needs. Check your responsibilities and act on it before the Creator asks you about it.

O my sisters… if you are suffering, Allah says he is with those who are patient. Have patience and faith is Almighty Allah for he is creating a place in Jannah for your patience and faith.

Don’t even try to become a son for your parents, be an ideal daughter… You will see wonders around you!!!

O Allah, I ask you daughters so that I can increase the chances of entering Jannah through them.